I spit on your graves; IG Koome’s insidious tale of ‘hiring dead bodies’

Oh, what a wonderfully insightful examination of law enforcement and accountability in Kenya! It’s truly heart-warming to see the dedication of high-ranking officials, like the Interior Cabinet Secretary, Internal Security Principal Secretary, and Inspector General of Police, who possess these accurate and timely incident reports, allowing them to be fully aware of the casualties and injuries resulting from their police force’s actions during those quaint anti-government demonstrations. It’s simply adorable how the Office of the President, the Interior Ministry, and the police have chosen the path of silence, because, you know, acknowledging issues is so overrated.

But hold on a moment, did you hear that gem from IG Japhet Koome? Apparently, senior individuals have taken up a new hobby of collecting dead bodies to conveniently drop on the streets and blame it on the National Police Service. Such creativity! And of course, we mustn’t forget that the IG has declared with utmost certainty that not a single Kenyan was harmed during those little demonstrations, only the poor officers who had to deal with pesky attacks.

Oh, and the lesson for junior officers is heartening they should always remember that they’re responsible for their actions and should follow those oh-so-lawful orders, like good little law enforcement minions. It’s written right there in Section 51 of the National Police Service Act, like a moral guidebook for upstanding officers who wouldn’t dare refuse an unlawful order. And the senior officers issuing those orders? Well, they should sleep soundly knowing that the law might just catch up with them someday – what a thrilling suspense!

Remember that ground-breaking case last October? The Office of the Director of Public Prosecutions truly outdid themselves by exploring the concept of command responsibility. Who knew that those 12 police commanders from 2017 Kisumu would become trendsetters for accountability? But let’s not forget the loyal Special Services Unit officers who were, of course, only following their higher-ups’ orders. Kudos to those bosses who remain untouched – it’s like they’re above reproach.

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Ah, yes, and the enduring saga of senior officers shielding their juniors from investigations, all while innocently claiming ignorance, only for the juniors to face the music later. It’s a classic tale of leadership and mentorship in the world of law enforcement, wouldn’t you say?

And finally, a round of applause for PS Raymond Omollo’s wisdom. His call for balanced and objective media reporting is truly inspiring, and his critique of sensationalism is spot-on. We should overlook his slight omission regarding those inconvenient deaths and injuries of Kenyan citizens. I mean, who needs all that negativity, right?

In conclusion, this brilliantly written piece showcases the pinnacle of law enforcement practices, accountability, and the exemplary role of officials in Kenya. Their transparency, impartiality, and unyielding commitment to lawful orders are truly the pillars upon which a utopian society is built. Bravo!